Daylight
by whereisnovember
Summary: When Esther Bailey boards the Titanic as its newest Seventh Officer, she's met with a lukewarm welcome—and no one is more unwelcoming than Officer William Murdoch. But as Esther begins to prove her worth, blurring the line dividing subordinate from superior, she and Murdoch find themselves questioning what matters most: their careers, or the feelings they're hiding from each other.
1. Arrival

**On the Edge of Daylight  
**

by whereisnovember  
(Giselle B.)

* * *

 _Esther Bailey is Titanic's newest recruit and one of the first female officers of her time. Although she's braced herself for the duties ahead, she never expected to clash with her own mentor, First Officer Murdoch._

 _His cool dismissal of her only turns colder as they bicker throughout their forced partnership, with Esther's short temper challenging his own. But as Esther begins to prove her worth, blurring the line between subordinate and superior, she and Murdoch find themselves questioning what matters most: their careers . . . or the feelings they're hiding from each other._

 _As tragedy unfolds around them, will they overcome the sinking together and live to see daylight?_

* * *

"I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are moving: To reach the port of heaven, we must sail sometimes with the wind and sometimes against it—but we must sail, and not drift, nor lie at anchor."

—Oliver Wendell Holmes

* * *

1

 **Arrival**  
April 6, 1912 | 06:20

* * *

It rained the day she arrived in Southampton, watching the cold, sodden port drawing nearer and knowing her life would never be the same.

Esther Bailey sat in silence, mirroring the sleepy quiet of her driver as their motorcar bumped along a road long-gutted by tire tracks, the deeper ruts already swollen with rainwater. Beyond the fogged window, she could see the swirl of waves foaming against the docks, dark and vaguely blue beneath the daybreak sky.

Esther shivered underneath her woolen coat. Not merely from the cold, but from the sheer excitement of what awaited her at port: the RMS _Titanic_. The luxury steamship all the papers, newsboys and bustling folks across London were calling " _The Ship of Dreams_." A true marvel of steel and manmade opulence bound for New York in five days' time.

And she would soon become one of its newest junior officers.

A _woman_ officer, at that.

Esther tried to keep such a trivial detail from plaguing her thoughts. But she could still feel it swirl through her mind like floodwaters, tearing away the wonder and anticipation she had thrived on these last few weeks. She wasn't simple-minded; she knew female officers were unheard of.

She had braced herself to expect the worst from her crewmates, whether it be indifference, disapproval—or outright prejudice.

This wouldn't be easy, Esther knew. But she was perfectly qualified for the role.

Her uncle, being the practical businessman that he was, hadn't wanted to waste her talents. Rather than turn his nose up at her aspirations, he had used his influence with White Star Line to secure two positions, one each for her and her brother, aboard the glittering new steamer.

Esther sighed, slipping the chain of her silver locket through shaky fingertips. Booker would be just fine aboard _Titanic_. Her brother had studied shipbuilding and design at the Institute of Marine Engineering and Science in London. He would work underneath Thomas Andrews, _Titanic_ 's shipwright, in a formal apprenticeship these next few weeks.

But Booker was an accomplished _male_ student of twenty-nine. Esther was a lady of twenty-six, and although she'd studied with a small pool of female scholars at the very same institute, and knew her maritime laws like she knew the back of her hand, she was still a woman entering a world traditionally reserved for men.

It was a first for the maritime business—a first for White Star Line, undoubtedly enough—and she wasn't sure how her new shipmates would react to such a peculiarity.

 _They'll be ecstatic, I'm sure,_ Esther told herself, unable to keep the sarcasm from her nervous thoughts as she watched the raindrops glitter past the window.

The motorcar came to a shuddering halt before the rain-slick platform of the nearest loading dock, headlights blooming out across the dark shapes of berthed ships and cargo cranes. The driver swung around in his seat to look at her, cocking his head to one side.

"Y'sure yer in the right place, ma'am?"

"If I wasn't," Esther said lightly, "I would have told you by now, don't you think?" She smiled at him before stepping out into the frigid air.

A short walk brought her past a handful of sailors and seafarers tending to their ships in the early morn, many watching her pass with puzzled looks. In the distance, a sliver of light strained its way through layers of fog and rainclouds; weak though it was, Esther hoped it meant that the dreary weather might clear at last.

Hands buried deep in her pockets, she continued onward through the maze of docks, winding her way to Berth 44. But it wasn't until she rounded a row of Cunard ships that she finally saw it, and her breath caught in her throat.

The RMS _Titanic_ loomed out of the downpour, a giantess of gleaming steel and metalwork that put the berthed ships around her to shame.

 _Never_ had Esther seen a steamer so impossibly grand. Yellow light poured from portholes and promenades, seeping into the watery blue darkness. She gaped at the ship's colossal size as it towered above her, nearly reminiscent of the skyscrapers she'd seen in New York, and she had to tilt her head back to take it all in: the buff-colored funnels soaring high above her, illuminated by lights at each base; the white paintwork sweeping across decks, davits and roaming promenades, as smooth and pristine as if the coats had dried only yesterday; and finally, the enormous mast that speared the sky, linked by a sprawl of crisscrossed cables and wirework. _Titanic_ was every bit as stunning as the papers and newsboys in London claimed her to be—if not more.

"Good Heavens," Esther murmured, standing rigid with her eyes flooded with awe. "She's unbelievable."

Suddenly, everything she had fretted over during the journey to port—every concern regarding her gender, her purpose, her place—vanished from her mind. Her eagerness returned, and Esther found herself thinking only of the days ahead, when she would cross the North Atlantic on the grandest ship she had ever laid eyes on.

.

06:50

.

Sixth Officer James Moody had never liked the rain.

He fought to ignore its sting of icy droplets as he crossed the sprawling docks, cursing himself for forgetting an umbrella this morning.

Although he had donned leather gloves and a thick, blue-black greatcoat made of heavy wool, his attire could do little to bar the freezing chill. He quickened his stride, vigorously rubbing his hands together for warmth and dreading how much colder the nights at sea would be.

He had originally been assigned to the RMS _Oceanic_ for a summer voyage this year, until White Star Line—for reasons unbeknownst to anyone—had transferred him to _Titanic_ instead. Less than thrilled by his new assignment and not wanting to brave the harsh April weather, Moody had put in a request for leave…only to have it denied a _day_ later.

He tried to swallow down his bitterness as he imagined his fellow _Oceanic_ officers preparing for a much warmer, much more jovial transatlantic crossing. On the one hand, _Titanic_ was a gem of a ship—a steamer that outclassed any other vessel Moody had worked in his career. Aside from boasting luxury and lavishness, she had performed incredibly well during her sea trials in Belfast, steaming through all manner of turns with impressive speed and precision.

But despite _Titanic_ 's excellence, Moody was still disappointed this trip would consist of chilled nights, cold watches and frozen seas, rather than the calm summer voyage _Oceanic_ had promised him.

 _Well,_ he thought idly, _doesn't get much better than this._

The downpour began to lighten, falling in a drizzle that was more mist than rain. Moody listened to the tides hissing and foaming against the slipway as he strolled toward Berth 44, heading straight for the port shell door where a gangway and a handful of seamen awaited him.

He was about to give the crew a cursory nod when he stopped in his tracks, taken aback by the odd sight before him.

A short, slender woman donned in a heavy coat two sizes too big for her stood alone at the far end of the dock.

She was gazing up at _Titanic_ 's behemoth mass, the glow from the portholes glittering like starlight in her eyes. She seemed frozen, almost—though whether she was in a daze or simply ridden by the cold, Moody couldn't say. But there was no reason for a girl like her to be on the docks, anyway, least of all at such an early hour. He made his way toward her at once, brow knitted into a frown.

"Miss?" Moody said, hoping the crisp formality of his voice was enough to conceal his bewilderment.

But the woman didn't even look at him; she remained hopelessly transfixed on _Titanic_ , studying her sleek hull and speckling of rivets with soft-eyed wonder.

Trying not to feel miffed, Moody pressed on, "Forgive my intrusion, miss, but may I ask what…you're…doing?"

" _Oh_!"

Her gasp vaulted across the berth, catching the air in a cloud of fog. She swung around to look at Moody, her cheeks rosy pink with cold and embarrassment, her gaze widening as she took in the officer beside her.

The woman was young—perhaps his age—with dark, shoulder-length hair still wet with rain and tucked behind both ears. She had golden skin that reminded him of a Greek woman he'd met last week in Belfast. Her eyes were long and almond-shaped, their color like shallow green seawater, and there was a speckling of wild freckles across the bridge of her admittedly pointed nose that he found endearing.

"I apologize," the woman said, speaking quickly in an already-speedy American drawl. "It's just—I've never seen such a ship. I couldn't help but stop and stare, you know?"

For a moment, Moody felt an unexpected twinge of pride and kinship toward _Titanic_. It was the first _real_ optimism he'd felt toward the liner since White Star Line had snatched him away from _Oceanic_ , and it caught him by surprise. He smiled, lifting his chin in a dignified manner and hoping to impress the pretty girl in her too-long coat.

"Ah, yes. She is rather impressive, isn't she? Triple-screws, forty-six thousand tons, more than eight-hundred feet in length—and so well-constructed, God _himself_ couldn't sink her if he tried. I daresay she's the finest steamer you'll ever set foot on."

"Jesus, I believe it." The woman tipped her head back, eyes tracing the tips of the funnels all the way down to the plated black hull. She gave a low whistle. "Never dreamed I'd be working on a ship like this."

"Oh?" Moody asked curiously. "You're a stewardess?"

She laughed. "What, do I strike you as a stewardess type?"

He studied her glossy black hair and cashmere coat, noting she was more well-dressed than he'd realized. There were pearls at her ears and a thin silver locket around her neck, while her shoes were a glittering, midnight-blue.

 _Heels_ , Moody observed, and he almost scoffed. _On the docks. In the rain. Good Lord._

But the woman looked completely at ease in them, standing patiently on the dock as Moody struggled to comprehend what purpose she had here, and _why_ she was standing by her lonesome at port. Then he cleared his throat, deciding he'd rather not know. It was too early and too bloody cold to dwell on the odd behavior of some stranger—especially when he already expected a visitor of his own this morning.

"Beg pardon, miss," Moody said. "I actually must be off—I'm afraid I have other matters to attend to elsewhere. A colleague of mine is coming aboard today, see, and I'm due to meet him any moment now."

"Very well," the woman said, and to his surprise, she was smirking. "I suppose it would be best not to keep _him_ waiting." A sly look crossed her face as she added, "Oh, and I didn't catch your name, Officer …?"

She must have recognized the gold trim on his uniform. He stood straighter and said a little tersely, "Moody. Now if you'll excuse me…"

"Right." She was still regarding him with amusement. "Goodbye, Mr. Moody."

"Goodbye."

He started for _Titanic_ 's port side without another word, smoothing out his greatcoat and refusing to glance over his shoulder.

Pretty woman. But puzzling, very puzzling. And why on earth had she been smiling at him like _that_?

Moody didn't have the faintest clue, but he refused to let himself care. Nodding at the sailors lining the shell door, he pulled a heavy pocket watch from his coat to inspect the time. The new junior officer in training should have been here by now, but there was no sign of him along the rainy sprawl of Berth 44. Some chap by the name of Bailey, according to the report—and already he was late. Moody's lip curled with disapproval. How very promising.

 _Lightoller won't be happy,_ he thought. _He'll skin that poor fellow alive._

Dipping his watch back into its pocket, Moody stood taller and folded his hands behind his back. As he surveyed the docks, cold and annoyed and still waiting for some tardy seventh officer to arrive, he realized the woman with the long coat was strolling toward him.

 _Now what?_ Moody raised an eyebrow as she neared, all the while considering whether to ask some dockhand or another to escort her from the premises.

"You forgot to ask my name, Mr. Moody," she said. Her tone was bright. Facetious, almost. "Junior Officer Esther Bailey. Requesting permission to come aboard, sir."

Moody froze, all decorum lost to the winds as he goggled at this girl and her mischievous green eyes.

It felt like an eternity before he managed to compose himself, smoothing away his astonishment and slipping back into his mannerly poise. Still somewhat perplexed, he rummaged around his pocket for the small notebook carrying the seventh officer's details. His eyes raced across the paper slip, and he almost had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from cursing his shock.

 _Esther,_ it read. _Esther Bailey._

Moody hadn't even realized it was a _woman's_ name—he had glossed over that little detail earlier this morning, when he'd been more interested in hot tea and a warm jacket above all else…

And now here he was, staring dumbfounded into the eyes of _Titanic_ 's newest recruit, who stood with her chin held high, a clever little grin spreading across her face.

"Right," Moody said, warmth rising in his cheeks.

He stood awkwardly beside the girl for a moment, not sure what to do or say next. But then he remembered his manners, and he offered a tentative hand. She wrung it hard, beaming, her grip tight and painfully enthusiastic in a way that almost made him wince.

When she finally released his hand, and Moody flexed his fingers to make sure none were crushed, he gestured toward the shell door with a hard swallow.

"Welcome aboard _Titanic_ , Miss Bailey."

* * *

A/N

Hi all! As some of you already know, _On the Edge of Daylight_ has been published as a full-length novel. I've hosted several giveaways and mailed out free paperback copies to those who requested them. For more details, visit the site at edgeofdaylight **-dot-** net.

Due to legal/contract reasons, I've unfortunately had to remove most of this story on FFNet and on AO3. Only ~10% is allowed to remain up, which includes my original author's notes and review replies, the first two chapters, and then snippets of the remaining chapters, to keep in line with FFNet policy of requiring written content in every chapter upload. I apologize for any inconvenience, but I also just want to thank everyone for the support and for your lovely reviews that kept me going. Without you lot, this fanfic wouldn't have been available in bookstores today! :3

Cheers!

— _whereisnovember_


	2. The Meeting

2

 **The Meeting**  
April 6, 1912 | 07:10

* * *

The bleak skies began to clear as First Officer Charles Lightoller left the bridge and made his way toward the smoking room.

A tall, wiry man with blue eyes and a prominent chin, he walked with an air of strict purpose as he crossed the freshly-waxed pinewood deck. He spared a passing glance at the waterfront, watching the daylight sift through the cloud cover, pale and shimmering across glass-smooth waves.

 _Good,_ he thought with satisfaction. _About time the weather broke._

Then he straightened his cuffs and slipped inside the officers' smoking room, closing the door behind him with a snap.

The room was humbly furnished, its white-paneled walls affixed with coat hooks, brass light fixtures, and a pair of clocks displaying ship and destination time. A White Star Line sailing notice hung directly opposite of him, proclaiming _Titanic_ and her twin, _Olympic_ , to be "The Largest Steamers in the World."

A circular table of glossed teakwood sat at the center of the room, and it was here that Lightoller took his seat, laying the file on his newest officer flat before him. He scanned its contents with a weary sigh, lacing his fingers in quiet reserve as he struggled to process the unfortunate situation he now found himself in.

 _Esther Bailey,_ the file read, blue ink burning into his eyes like a dreadful poison. _Twenty-six. Born in San Francisco, California to Dr. Arthur Bailey. Graduated from the Institute of Marine Engineering, Science, and Technology in London with a specialty in maritime law and regulations (high marks, notable letters of recommendation). Attained Ordinary Master's Certification in 1909; fulfilled apprenticeship on the SS Maloja in 1911. Sister to Booker Bailey (apprentice under Thomas Andrews) and niece to J. DeWitt Bailey, co-founder of IMM Co. and White Star Line._

Lightoller snorted at the last line. _Of course,_ he thought scathingly. _Nepotism at its finest._

Had the girl not been related to this J.D. Bailey chap in some manner or another, no one in their right mind would _dare_ commission her as an officer. Her brother wouldn't be an issue, none at all. As a graduate student and promising shipwright, he would work soundly under Thomas Andrews.

But to have a woman on the _bridge_ , giving orders and working alongside his fellow officers…it was nearly unthinkable.

Lightoller was a man of order—of strict formality and conviction. He was a meticulous sailor who believed there was no gray when it came to following the rulebook, only black and white. _Never_ , in all his years of seafaring, had he known a woman to become an officer. Women worked as stewardesses and _maids_ and what have you. Not in a role that demanded physical and mental fortitude, respect for maritime tradition, and the ability to delegate in the face of danger—or perhaps even death.

He didn't have to meet the girl to know she lacked each of these traits in turn. Oh, there was no doubt about it. She would just be a damn nuisance, like a pebble trapped at the base of his boot.

Already the girl was causing a stir, and she hadn't even boarded the ship yet. Captain E.J. Smith was usually a collected man, blue eyes as calm as the ocean waves always stretching before him, but Lightoller had never seen him so agitated the day they'd received the news by wire. Smith had tried to reverse the decision, of course. But no amount of reasoning with White Star Line or IMM Co. executives could shift the tide. It seemed the girl's uncle had too much financial and political power at his fingertips. Smith was neatly overruled. His only alternative would be to step down. And what sort of man would dare give up his captaincy aboard the crown jewel of White Star Line's fleet?

No one besides Smith and Lightoller knew their newest junior officer was a woman. The captain had wanted to keep it hushed for the time being, and Lightoller knew it was more out of shame than anything else.

But the men would know soon enough.

They would see her standing out on the bridge or inside the wheelhouse, donned in an officer's uniform and tie. A woman who belonged below decks arranging meals and bedding instead of working on the bridge of the most expensive ship in living history.

Sighing, Lightoller removed his cap and combed one hand through his sandy-brown hair.

 _Let's just get this over with,_ he thought, sweeping his hat back onto his head. _The girl's coming aboard, one way or another._

A knock at the door saw him rise swiftly to his feet.

"Come in," Lightoller commanded, and he watched Officer Moody enter the room with a very freckled, very short girl who could only be Esther Bailey.

Lightoller went still, his eyes dark with undisguised scrutiny as he studied his new protégé. There was something unusual about her speckled complexion and wide green eyes. Where most Englishwomen tended to be fair-skinned, this girl had a warmness that suggested she spent a fair amount of time in the sun. Her attire was plain and unassuming, save for some pearl earrings and a pair of ridiculous blue heels that glittered lightly along the floor.

 _Well, at least she didn't come dressed to the nines,_ Lightoller thought scathingly.

Regardless, the heels and pearls were still inappropriate, and he hoped she would have enough sense in the future to leave the showy jewelry at home.

"Morning, Mr. Lightoller, sir," she said, her bright, bold American accent thundering through the quiet. "It's an honor to finally—"

Lightoller raised one hand to silence her, and her smile faltered.

"I take it you are Miss Esther Bailey, of San Francisco, California?" he asked indifferently.

The girl nodded. "Yessir. All my life."

Where she had once been beaming, there was now a discomfort about her, which she was clearly trying to hide. Her eyes struggled to meet his stern glare, and her fingers kept twisting together like baker's dough. She was nervous.

Lightoller turned to Moody. "Would you excuse us for a moment?"

"At once, sir."

Moody swiftly took his leave, and Lightoller sighed as he turned his attention to the scrawny girl before him.

"Have a seat, Miss Bailey."

The girl scrambled forward at once, though not before slamming her knee against the table in her earnestness. She uttered a filthy curse as she collided with the woodwork, wincing with pain, and Lightoller stared in disbelief, wondering how in Holy Christ some well-to-do _girl_ could wield such a sailor's mouth.

"I said have a seat, Miss Bailey, not injure yourself," he snapped. "And watch your tongue."

"My apologies, sir." Her voice was small, her cheeks tinged pink as she pulled out the leather chair and promptly, but carefully, sat.

An awkward silence settled over the room as Lightoller considered what to say next. He hadn't prepared for this moment—especially since he was still struggling to come to terms with such a bewildering circumstance. It certainly didn't help that the girl's freckles were all too similar to his wife's.

But no wife or woman would have dared to step into an officer's uniform—save for the one sitting before him.

 _Why_?

It was the only question Lightoller had. He brought his fingertips to his temples, frowning at the swirling wood grain etched in the teak table, then quickly collected himself, sitting straighter in his seat and fixing the girl with a piercing stare.

"First and foremost," he began, "I wish to make one thing clear. You are _only_ here due to circumstances beyond the captain's control, and he would not have even considered taking you on otherwise."

Lightoller spoke the simple, blunt truth. He noticed her eyes narrow, but if she was offended, she gave no other indication.

"That being said," he pressed on, "we have still agreed to provide you with the same opportunities as each of our crewmen. We will treat you as we would treat any junior officer—just know that there will be no special treatment, no accommodations. You, as a _junior_ officer, are to afford every assistance in the navigation of this vessel and attend strictly to all instructions of the officer in charge. You will be expected to perform your duties admirably, steadfastly, and without complaint. Anything less will be met with swift and decisive punishment. Do I make myself clear?"

She nodded. "Yes, sir."

"Good." Lightoller gave a brusque nod in return, while silently asking himself what the _blazes_ was going on, and why White Star Line had allowed this nonsense to happen. His mood only seemed to worsen as he spent the next hour reviewing the girl's duties, summarizing their watch schedules and other such business matters. She hung on his every word, green eyes intent and respectful. But not even her attentiveness could ease the hostility smoldering inside him.

Lightoller was relieved when the clock struck nine, signaling the end of their meeting at last. He shot to his feet, struggling to cling to the last of his patience as he yanked open the door.

"I do believe we're done here," he said curtly. "Tomorrow, we will provide you with a detailed tour of the ship so you may familiarize yourself with every nook and cranny aboard. Come Tuesday, we will have you situated in your cabin. And on Wednesday, we set sail." He eyed her accessories disapprovingly. "Be sure to remove any and _all_ jewelry before setting foot on the bridge. Understood?"

"Yes, sir."

"Oh," Lightoller added idly, "one more thing. Officers are required to collect their uniforms. I'll have Mr. Moody write down the address to our approved tailors in Southampton. Miller, Murphy, and Holm. They should be able to assist you."

His voice grew strained as he spoke those last words, for he simply could not fathom the difficulties of a woman being fitted in a naval tailor shop. Suppressing a wince, Lightoller continued, "While I don't expect your garb to be worn tomorrow—given that I _highly_ doubt it will be ready by that time—I do expect you to wear it when we set sail. Do I make myself clear?"

"Perfectly clear, sir," the girl answered. This time, her words blazed with conviction.

"Right, then." His voice was short. "You are dismissed. Report to the ship tomorrow no later than nine o'clock."

Bailey nodded. "Very good, sir." She turned on her heel for the door, and the light caught the pearls at her ears. But then she paused, fingers gripping the brass doorknob tight, eyes boring into Lightoller's with resolution.

"I very much look forward to working with you, sir."

Lightoller hesitated. He knew he was being hard on her. Knew he ought to give her a chance. But he simply couldn't bring himself to do it. The girl was like a storm that appeared from nowhere, trapping him amidst an ocean of uncertainty. He felt as if he were sailing blindly into dark and unfamiliar waters—and he didn't like it one bit.

The first officer met her determined stare and merely nodded with dismissal.

"Good day, Miss Bailey."

.

09:40

.

By the time Esther left Southampton Port and made for her hotel, she was far less enthused about the journey ahead of her.

Where she had once felt an immeasurable excitement, she now felt small, lost and unwelcome, treading rough currents without a sense of belonging to keep her afloat.

Lightoller had been cold with her, and Moody hadn't even _realized_ they were colleagues until she'd given him her name.

Esther could feel her cheeks burn with shame and humiliation as the motorcar bumped along the road, winding along cobbled avenues already thick with people. Southampton had come alive now that the rain had cleared and the sun had risen. And yet, all the seventh officer wanted to do was bury herself in her bed—deep into her blankets where she would never see the light of day again.

Esther had thought she'd dressed modestly in a plain skirt and simple wool overcoat, but Lightoller had scrutinized her attire anyway. The pearls and heels might have been a bit much, and she swore to dress more conservatively tomorrow. At least she would have a uniform by Monday, so blending in with the other officers wouldn't be much of an issue.

Other than the small, unavoidable detail of her being a _woman_ , of course.

It wasn't until Esther entered the hotel suite and slammed the door shut that she truly let her emotions get the better of her. They billowed within the confines of her ribcage, a stormy wrath of shame and anger. She stalked across the elegant carpet in a temper, pacing back and forth in her heels and breathing through her nose like some kind of animal. She kicked at the leg of an end table in frustration, sending a bowl of pears tumbling to the floor in a heap. Cursing under her breath, she knelt down to collect them.

"I take it the meeting went rather well, then?"

Esther turned to see her brother strolling into the parlor, shutting the pocket watch at his waistcoat with a snap. He was freshly shaven this morning, suit pressed and ink-black hair slicked to perfection. While he and Esther shared the same freckled complexion and green-gray eyes, Booker was much taller than his sister, with a sharp jawline and thick eyebrows that matched the darkness of his tidy hair.

At his question, Esther straightened up with a snort.

"Oh no," she grumbled. "What gave you that idea?"

He laughed. "I doubt taking your anger out on bowls of fruit and furniture will do you any good, you know."

"It helps," she insisted stubbornly, returning the pears to their rightful place. "You ought to try it sometime."

"I would, but I happen to have a little thing we like to call _dignity_." He smiled teasingly at her scowl. Clearing his throat, he gestured toward a sitting chair. "Temper tantrums aside, come have a seat. Let's hear what happened."

Esther folded her arms across her chest, lips pressed together in defiance, eyes glowering at some spot on the patterned floor. And before she knew it, she was pacing across the parlor, spilling out the events of the morning in a heated rush. Her brother listened patiently to her outburst, one leg crossed over the other, eyes never leaving her troubled face.

"The _captain_ doesn't even want me on board, for Christ's sake," Esther finished, chest heaving against the binds of her corset. "And that's _nothing_ compared to Lightoller. I could practically _feel_ the disgust coming off him when he was looking at me—like I was the sort of scum you find floating in a gutter or something."

"Scum, you say? That's somewhat of a compliment in your case, isn't it?"

"Hilarious, Booker," Esther said dryly. "I didn't realize you've become a goddamn comedian."

"Geez, keep your hair on. Lightoller will come around. They all will."

"Easy for you to say," she snapped back. " _You're_ not the one who's a—"

But Esther stopped herself, suddenly flushed with guilt. She knew she had no right to turn her anger on her brother, so she fumbled for a hasty apology.

"I'm sorry, Booker, I—"

"Don't bother," Booker said calmly, waving a dismissive hand. "Let it all out if you have to. I can stand to be a punching bag for a day, if that's what it takes. Just remember you've spent four _years_ of your _womanly_ life studying maritime law at one of the finest institutes in England. I wouldn't say that was for nothing, now, would you?" He waited until Esther numbly shook her head before continuing, "That Ordinary Master's Certification of yours was no picnic, either. You are _just_ as qualified as the rest of those junior recruits; you being a woman shouldn't make the slightest difference. And if it does, then they're damn fools."

Esther smiled at her brother, all rage and humiliation momentarily forgotten. "You're right," she agreed, speaking with a fierce determination that surprised even herself. "I've spent too many years working toward this moment to let them ruin it. _I'm_ a junior officer on the finest ship in the world—and by God, I'm going to give it my all, no matter what they say."

"That's the spirit," Booker said cheerfully. "See? It helps to talk these things out rather than keep them bottled up. You don't want to end up throwing a fit, kicking furniture and things…"

"Oh, shut up," Esther said over her brother's laughter.

He was still chuckling when the maid entered the room bearing a platter of hot coffee and iced oatmeal cakes.

"Thank you, Miss Josephine," Booker said, flourishing a dazzling smile. "As prompt and as lovely as ever."

Slightly pink, the maid gave a short curtsey and slipped from the room, her eyes lingering on Booker's sleek black hair. Esther wasn't surprised; her brother had always possessed a flirty charm that captivated both women and men alike—a trait that Esther almost certainly swore she lacked. She couldn't seem to turn a head these days, much less entice some gentleman to buy her a drink. But Booker…he never seemed to have any trouble catching attention.

"So, you never did tell me." Her brother hooked his mug with the crook of one finger and raised it to his lips. "What did you think of _Titanic_? Are you now a firm believer she's truly _the_ Ship of Dreams—or whatever drivel they call her these days?"

Esther hesitated, her expression softening as she sought a heartfelt response.

"She's indescribable," she breathed, eyes glowing as she recalled it _all_ : the grace, the splendor, the sheer size of the impressive steamer. "I haven't seen much of her interior, though. Just the officers' smoking lounge on the boat deck so far."

Booker smiled. "Oh, just you wait. You haven't lived till you've seen the forward Grand Staircase. Mr. Andrews did a truly marvelous job; I'm honored to work beneath him."

Esther sat up straight, nearly spilling coffee down the front of her blouse. She'd been so preoccupied with her own matters that her brother's apprenticeship had slipped her mind.

"That's right!" she said excitedly. "How was your meeting with Mr. Andrews?"

"It went rather well, I think," Booker admitted. "He's an intelligent man. I hope to learn everything I can from him." He brought his cup to his lips, adding thoughtfully, "Hard to believe we're setting sail this coming week. I'm already scheduled to move into my quarters on Monday."

"Same as me," Esther mused. "But I'll have to visit a tailor shop beforehand to get fitted for my uniform. If I'm not in full dress on Tuesday, there's a slight chance Mr. Lightoller will murder me."

Booker did not respond immediately. The faintest look of uncertainty crossed his face, but it was fleeting, and she wondered if perhaps she'd imagined it.

"I see," her brother said in a smooth, careful voice. "Well, I have Monday morning free and can accompany you to the tailor, if you'd like."

Esther nodded, thinking tomorrow would be a new day. A brighter day, perhaps.

"It's a plan."

* * *

A/N

Next chapter should be up soon. Thank you to those who reviewed, I truly appreciate it and I hope you're enjoying the story so far! I'm trying to keep with the historical timeline as much as I can (ignoring Esther of course). I had no idea Murdoch had been demoted from chief officer, bumping down Lightoller from first to second officer as well. Interesting stuff.


	3. Demotion

3

 **Demotion**  
April 6, 1912 | 13:10  
(Originally Published 3/5/17)

* * *

Charles Lightoller was still reeling as he retraced his steps down the starboard boat deck, trying to soothe the erratic swirl of his thoughts.

Clouds had rolled into the port once again, paling the River Test to gray, while a rather nasty wind snarled in his ear.

 _Bizarre April weather_ , he thought absentmindedly, tugging on his leather gloves and making a mental note to wear his greatcoat for the rest of the day.

But he had much more to worry about than the cold. His mind was fixed on one single ruddy point amidst his universe, and that point was Esther Bailey.

Lightoller wanted nothing more than to slip inside his cabin unnoticed, where he could brood alone and accept the mortifying truth of the girl becoming his charge. But he had no sooner reached the officers' promenade when footsteps echoed ahead of him, and he found himself walking straight toward Chief Officer William Murdoch and Second Officer David Blair. His colleagues were chatting leisurely, greatcoats snapping in the saltwater breeze. But the sight of Lightoller's wan face drew them to a short stop...

* * *

A/N

Hi, just wanted to say thank you for the reviews, favorites, and follows it's very much appreciated! I had to tweak history a bit, sadly…Murdoch didn't divorce his wife butttt we had to have him single to fit the narrative. Ah well haha. Next chapter is finished, it's being edited and should be up sometime soon. Thanks for reading!


	4. The Girl

4

 **The Girl**  
April 7, 1912 | 08:40  
(Originally Published 3/12/17)

* * *

The sound of waves greeted Esther when she returned to the Port of Southampton, waters calm and swirling beneath a crisp blue sky.

Though the rain had disappeared overnight, the air was still as icy as the day before, if not worse. But Esther paid little mind to the cold as she wove around puddles and pools of rainwater. Her eyes were on the port, observing the vast huddle of ships' masts and prows cluttering the docks before her.

There was a diligent energy she had not seen yesterday morning, in the early hours before dawn. Stevedores and sailors called to each other as they worked, their voices boisterous, rising high above the jumble of equipment and electrical cranes. Motorcars glittered as they cut along the narrow streets dividing the storehouses, carrying the stench of exhaust and oil. There were sounds of hissing steam and shoveled coal, of box hooks snapping open cargo crates, and of engines whirring as they fired up along the shore. Esther could even catch the distant bellow of a whistle horn, its sound billowing across the port like thunder.

It was exciting, seeing all this commotion spread before her, and she could not look away as she watched the movement swell across every dock, every deck, every berthed ship…

* * *

A/N

Hello there! We're still in the days of preparing for Titanic's voyage (Sun April 6—Wed April 10), but I promise we'll set sail soon! Because there's such a small time window between launching the ship and the sinking, I want to make sure I have enough time to flesh out the officer's personalities, and Murdoch and Bailey's relationship as much as possible without cramming it in last minute. Thanks for taking the time to read!


	5. The Tailor

5

 **The Tailor**  
April 8, 1912 | 10:50  
(Originally Published 3/19/17)

* * *

A thick, dense fog spilled through the streets of Southampton early Monday morning, chilling Esther and her brother as they combed their way through midtown.

The roads were empty at the early hour, save for the occasional motorcar rumbling along past them, headlights beaming out through the gloom.

But Esther was feeling too weary to pay any notice to her surroundings. She'd spent nearly all last night packing her belongings for _Titanic_ , cramming far more books than necessary into her suitcase, and when all was said and done, she'd only managed a few hours of good sleep.

Now she regarded the wispy fog and desolate streets with a bleary gaze, lost in her thoughts and trying not think of Officer Murdoch. But where Esther once might have ranted and raved about her frustrations, she now pulled herself inwards, quietly shuttering her emotions and not knowing what, exactly, to do with them.

Booker tried to break the silence as they walked, breath clouding the air to misty white.

"Christ, it's cold," he remarked with a grimace, rubbing his gloved hands together for warmth. "And we'll soon be getting on a ship bound for the goddamn North Atlantic. We're none too bright, are we?"

"No." Esther spoke softly, her eyes on her feet. "Perhaps we're not."

"Just think of all those _long_ watches you'll have on the boat deck," Booker teased. " _I'll_ be all nice and cozy inside the ship, sitting before a warm electric heater…and you? You'll become an icicle, I imagine."

He was trying to coax out a smile, but Esther was too lost in her thoughts to notice…

* * *

A/N

Thank you for reading, hope you're all liking it so far! See you on the next chapter (which will very briefly mention physical abuse, so putting this here as a warning just in case). I aim to update once a week or so, work and school permitting.


	6. Moving In

6

 **Moving In**  
April 9, 1912 | 12:10  
(Originally Published 3/25/17)

* * *

The transition from shore to ship was an easy one, much to Esther's surprise.

No mishaps, no messy complications—and most fortunately of all, no Murdoch to stand around and criticize her.

The first officer had made himself scarce since their dispute with the Southampton tailor, and it was only after boarding the ship that Esther came to learn why: Murdoch was spending most of his time conferring with Captain Smith and Chief Officer Henry Wilde, both of whom she had yet to meet. It seemed the three of them were making last-minute preparations for tomorrow, everything from lifeboat drills to provisioning arrangements, health inspections to lengthy cargo manifests.

It was busy work, by the sound of things—especially given all the hullabaloo surrounding _Titanic_ 's maiden voyage. Despite being cut from the same steel as her sister, _Olympic_ , it was _Titanic_ who had been coined "The Ship of Dreams." Which meant all the crewmen were working twice as hard to live up to her title, ensuring she had a smooth, flawless crossing ahead…

* * *

A/N

Next chapter, we set sail finally! But then after that, there's only four short days left to write about :( Anyway thank you for reading, and for the lovely reviews. It's very appreciated!


	7. The Bridge

7

 **The Bridge**  
April 10, 1912 | 05:00  
(Originally Published 4/1/17)

* * *

It was the key-wound alarm clock that woke Murdoch early Wednesday morning, ringing shrilly in his ears and dragging him from the comfort of deep sleep.

He sat up at once, tapping the top of his Westclox to silence it.

 _5 o'clock,_ the numbers read through the gloom.

Murdoch rubbed his eyes and gave his head a quick shake, as if trying to scatter away the last remnants of drowsiness. His blankets were still ridiculously warm against his skin—all fleece and soft flannel—and although he wanted nothing more than to crawl back underneath them, he knew better. Almost two decades of seafaring hadn't taught him to snooze the morning away, tempting though it was. Murdoch was a senior officer with the highest of expectations. Timeliness at odd hours of the day wasn't only a requirement after all these years; it was second nature.

So he sighed, blinking in the dim lamplight seeping through the frosted glass window.

 _Go on, get up, you lump,_ he chided himself…

* * *

A/N

Hi! So originally sailing day was going to be one chapter, but it was getting ridiculously long and I didn't think I would be able to finish editing in time to upload the full thing today. I've split it up, but I'll try to upload chapter eight as soon as possible, I promise!

Anyway, thank you again for reading, and also for the recent reviews, favorites, and follows! LoveFiction2017, Xovaan, Newsie35, EndlessOcean9, LaueeeCarter, LightsLover7, LostarielTuigalen, penelope lemon, and all guests who reviewed recently—you guys are awesome, thank you! C:


	8. Setting Sail

**(Spoilers)**

8

 **Setting Sail**  
April 10, 1912 | 06:20  
(Originally Published 4/7/17)

* * *

Esther was quiet as she followed Murdoch down the starboard boat deck, breathing in the cold, stinging air of an early dawn.

The morning was still dark as pitch by the time they left the mess hall, its daybreak light struggling to wake along the horizon. Waves of deep black swirled against the plated hull far below, while the illuminated funnels glowed like gold pillars high above them. The seventh officer could feel her grogginess fade at last, tapering to bright-eyed clarity thanks to the cup of lukewarm tea Murdoch ordered her to chug. But as they headed aft down the promenade, and Esther gradually became more alert in the morning darkness, she could not stop the anger from swelling mercilessly within her.

She wasn't angry at the Scotsman at her side. No, not at all.

She was angry at _herself_.

Esther couldn't believe she'd been late to the bridge. Two minutes late, but it had been enough to earn Murdoch's criticism, and scathing stares from the rest of the crewmen. Everything had gone to shit this morning, to put it plainly, and Esther knew she had no one to blame but herself. She'd slept through her alarm like a fool, not waking until ten minutes before her shift. Then she'd stumbled around her cabin in a flurry of panic, struggling to put on a uniform still bulky and foreign to her.

And the tie—the stupid, miserable, goddamn _tie_ —she'd spent nearly five minutes trying to figure the damn thing out, after having worn only neckerchiefs throughout her maritime career…

* * *

A/N

And we're finally underway! Hard to believe Titanic's 105th anniversary is this upcoming week, huh?

Thank you to:

LaueeeCarter — Thank you so so much! And don't worry, Murdoch will come around soon! He was just grumpy and having a bad morning last chapter, haha. I love character development so I hope to have him and Lights warming up to Esther as the story goes on!

Guest — Hahaha I'm glad to hear you like their banter! Wilde is my second favorite officer, I like to think he has a good sense of humor too.

Newsie35 — I agree! There's always so much to learn from Titanic and it's all so intriguing. Thanks for reading! c:

EndlessOcean9 —Hi! This makes me happy to hear! I feel the same way, I absolutely love being able to dive into a story as a reader too. Thank you!

1bluesapphire — Thank you! I like to think Murdoch can get grouchy at times but still be a big softy haha. As for Esther's actress - for some reason, I keep envisioning her as a younger, freckled, American Marion Cotillard (from Inception, La Vie en [omitted]). Or maybe even Daisy Ridley! I'm curious, who would you choose to play her?

LoveFiction2017 — Thank you so much! :)

LightsLover7 — Yay! I'm really glad you're enjoying the story. Thanks for reading!

Sam Fraser — Thank you, that website is extremely helpful! So many fascinating details about Murdoch's life and his actions aboard the Titanic and the mystery behind his death. I'd had no idea one of his first voyages was to San Francisco too, my hometown (and Esther's!), which is very interesting to hear and will make for a great plot point later on. I will definitely be using the site for research as I continue to write. Thanks again!


	9. Invitation

**(Spoilers)**

9

 **Invitation**  
April 10, 1912 | 12:10  
(Originally Published 4/14/17)

* * *

Nothing could have prepared Esther for the screams that followed, cleaving through the cool sea air and shattering the joyous calm.

Her eyes snapped open, and there was a split moment where she and Murdoch simply stared at one other, equal parts wary and mystified. But Esther watched her superior officer collect himself within seconds, the bemused look on his face darkening to urgency at once. He sped off without a word, greatcoat whirling behind him, blue eyes sharpened with a seriousness she'd never seen before.

"Mr. Murdoch!"

She shouted his name as she hurried after him, desperate to keep pace with his brisk, fleet-footed strides.

Murdoch didn't go very far, much to her relief. He clambered up the ladder to the aft docking bridge, pausing only to offer Esther his gloved hand. She didn't give the gesture any thought; she merely clasped his fingers tight and without hesitation, letting him hoist her up on the platform with him. They stood together, Pitman at their side, looking out across the frothed inlet waters—and Esther had to clench her teeth to keep from cursing at the sight before her…

* * *

A/N

Hi there! Next chapter is being edited and should be up soon! We'll be in Cherbourg then, and both Will and Esther will have their first nightly watch together. Which should be interesting to say the least…can't wait for you to see! Thank you as always for reading!

Thank you to:

glitterstar7 — Thank you, I'm glad you're liking it! To be honest I wasn't expecting to have [omitted] in the story when I was writing the first chapter, but then I realized he's too good to pass up. Billy Zane makes an incredible antagonist, haha. And I think [omitted]'s pompousness mixing with Esther's blunt sarcasm will make for some good scenes too!

LaueeeCarter — Thank you so much! Love to hear you're enjoying their relationship so far c: It's definitely been fun to write! Will is so darn protective of her, even though he tries to pretend it doesn't mean anything. Poor guy's trying so hard to fight it haha.

LoveFiction2017 — Thank you! :)

Newsie35 — Glad to hear it! Took eight chapters to get underway hahah woops but we are finally moving. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Sam Fraser — I wasn't aware of that! That's unbelievable that Lord and Murdoch met years beforehand. Such a bizarre coincidence! I'll be diving deeper into Murdoch's past travels in the next chapter, I was reading that site you mentioned earlier and it's crazy to think how many countries Murdoch visited around the world.

xovaan — Thank you, it means a lot! Hope you liked this chapter as well!

Guest — Admittedly I haven't gone into much research about Smith; I do hope to do him justice though, because I'd like this fic to have a nice balance of histori[omitted] events and fictional James Cameron-esque ones. I do have to admit I thought the scene of Smith in the wheelhouse was pretty powerful from the film, even if it wasn't real. But I like keeping to history in most respects, so I'll see how I end up depicting him as the story goes on!

DarkEnigma322 — Aww thank you so much! Very kind of you to say that, and I'm glad you're enjoying the fic so far c: I'll have to check out those two websites asap, especially the Inquiry one with the actual transcripts and firsthand accounts from the officers — that sounds fascinating! I will definitely be looking at Titanic Facts as well! The only websites I've been on so far are Encylopedia Titanica and the Life and Mystery of William Murdoch, but these will be extremely helpful, especially as I get closer to writing the collision and sinking, so thank you again!


	10. Cherbourg

10

 **Cherbourg**  
April 10, 1912 | 08:10  
(Originally Published 4/21/17)

* * *

The skies deepened to shades of rose and indigo as Esther marched aft, trying to ignore the first officer strolling quietly beside her.

She drew in slow, deep breaths to steady herself, but the anger within her was far too strong, tearing through her like the icy darkness of a savage maelstrom.

Esther was angry at her brother. Angry she was now forced to keep company with first-class patrons who cared only for their luxuries and lofty incomes. And angry Booker had extended the invitation to her superior officer without even discussing it with her beforehand.

Esther still didn't know what to make of Murdoch. She was grateful for the ways he had helped her so far, sticking up for her in front of unkindly people and passengers. She'd even had a bit of fun exchanging witty banter with him only moments ago. But the very notion of dining with the man—when already she despised that first-class realm of glamour and gentry and lousy social graces—was frustrating enough to darken her mood entirely.

Would Murdoch find some way to ridicule her in front of the guests? He had certainly spent a great deal of time scolding and belittling her, so why would tomorrow evening be any different?

At least Chief Officer Wilde would be there, with all his charm and paternal kindliness. As would her brother, whom she knew wouldn't stand for any sort of cruelty. The dinner wouldn't be _too_ much of a chore, Esther reasoned. But still, she couldn't help but scour her thoughts for a last-minute excuse…

* * *

A/N

Hi everyone! I included the real William Murdoch's international travels, apprenticeship to San Francisco, and his mishap with Commander Leloup, whom he refused to let onboard in Cherbourg. I can't recall if there was a specific reason why he did that, but in this fic it's because he's super defensive of Esther c: He keeps coming to the rescue, but it won't be long before she'll 'rescue' him in turn…I have something planned! My updates will become infrequent due to a lot of projects and finals I'll be dealing with from now until the end of May. But once this semester is over, I hope to return to updating once a week!

Thank you to:

Laura (your English is wonderful, thank you so much for the review!)

LightsLover7 (I'm glad you're excited to see what comes next!)

Newsie35 (thank you! I keep going over the chapter count of my original outline so I can't say for sure haha, but I think between 20-24 chapters!)

LoveFiction2017 (thank you!)

LaueeeCarter (Hi! Glad you like the soft side of Will c: The end of this chapter didn't put him in a very good light haha, but we'll see major improvements from him come next chapter!)

glitterstar7 (thank you! [omitted] will be making an appearance next chapter yeee can't wait for you to see!)

Titanic Lover (thank you so much! Hope you enjoyed this chapter!)

Luna (that's very kind of you, I'm happy you're liking the story!)

Sam Fraser (I'll definitely try to state what's historical! In this chapter I referenced "Curious Incident at Cherbourg" and "Seafaring Life" from the Murdoch website)

xovaan (thanks so much!)

BaconLover4 (lol, you might like next chapter, we start off with Lightoller).


	11. Open Ocean

11

 **Open Ocean**  
April 11, 1912 | 07:45  
(Originally Published 4/26/17)

* * *

A cold, calm sea stretched before Lightoller as he stood watch, gloved hands folded dutifully behind his back.

He was quiet as he gazed across the glimmering ocean, breathing in the smell of saltwater, blue eyes fixed on even bluer waves. The morning fog had burned away at long last, and now there was only sunlight—crisp and dazzling and white—washing everything from the telegraphs to the pine decking beneath his feet.

The bridge was bright and airy as usual, dead silent but still brimming with tireless energy as crew and officers alike ambled through. And although Lightoller had spent the greater part of his morning barking out orders and reviewing the ship's course, there was a good deal of work to attend to before their arrival in Queenstown. His watch would end early, for one thing, and then he'd report to the gangways for boarding duty while Officer Wilde would man the bridge in his place.

But as Lightoller faced the motionless stretch of glassy sea, with the roar of water in his ears and the murmur of _Titanic_ 's engines far beneath him, he found himself thinking not only of his work, but of his wife…

* * *

A/N

It seems Will and Esther are finally moving past their issues! About time, right? Next chapter is 'The Dinner.' I thought it would be a while until my next upload due to school obligations, but I actually had time to write yesterday and I couldn't stop so it's about 95% finished. Lol. I should have it uploaded sometime next week!

I wish I had more time to reply to reviews but I just want to say thank you to Luna, LaueeeCarter, E, EndlessOcean9, LightsLover7, LoveFiction2017, Newsie35, MandiMojo49, and glitterstar7 for taking the time to share your thoughts! I loved hearing what you guys think haha. Hope you liked this chapter! C:


	12. The Dinner

12

 **The Dinner**  
April 11, 1912 | 17:45  
(Originally Published 5/2/17)

* * *

Murdoch was feeling restless as he paced back and forth along the officers' promenade, waiting for his subordinate to join him.

It was chilly out, the waves rumbling as usual, the ocean winds bitter and smelling strongly of brine. But Murdoch paid little mind to the cold or salty air as he roamed the deck, passing the bulky lifeboats and listening to their tarpaulins flit about in the wind.

While his expression was remarkably composed—a simple feat thanks to years of practice and formality—it was his eyes that betrayed him.

Murdoch was usually able to keep his emotions under control, tucked away where no one might see them. But now his apprehension was all too visible, slipping through his gaze like light shining through the edges of a doorframe.

The professionalism he prided himself on was slowly but surely dissolving, and the more he dwelled on what the evening would bring, the more agitated he became…

* * *

A/N

I'm only about 3k words into the next chapter, it may be another week or two before it's finished unfortunately but I hope to upload it as soon as I can. Hard to believe I started this fic two months ago. Thanks to everyone who's stuck around so far, hope you've all been enjoying it!

Thank you to:

LaueeeCarter — I'm glad you liked last chapter! c: I totally agree with you about Lowe, he's adorable, and Ioan Gruffudd is damn handsome.

MandiMojo49 — Thank you so much! Hope you enjoyed this chapter. The tension between Will and Esther is getting real haha!

BaconLover4 — I agree! He was so posh in the film but I definitely wanted to humanize him a bit with scenes about his wife.

EndlessOcean9 — Thank you! And haha I feel the same about wanting her to be with Murdoch. Lowe is a sweetheart, but we all know who she's meant to be with ;)

LightsLover7 — I hope that "Good morning handsome" scene was a surprise :) Wilde likes goading Lightoller way too much lol.

Newsie35 — Thank you so much! I love Murdoch when he's amusing and in a good mood too c: Hope you enjoyed this chapter!

glitterstar7 — I'm so happy you liked the last chapter! I loved seeing Murdoch get a little jealous too lmao. But at least it encouraged him to finally step it up and finally apologize to Esther. Bout time really lol.

Guest — Thank you so much! Very appreciated!

Dreamgirl7009 — Haha I added those scenes because I figured even with his professionalism, he'd still be thinking of his wife and being intimate with her while at sea! Poor guy's only human, I'm sure he was missing her. Glad to hear you liked it though!

LoveFiction2017 — Thank you!

penelope lemon — Hi there! Good to hear from you, I'm so happy you're enjoying their relationship so far! c: They're finally making progress, they just have to stop being so stubborn haha. As for the cover, I made it real quick in Photoshop! Glad you like it, thank you!


	13. The Fight

13

 **The Fight**  
April 12, 1912 | 08:30  
(Originally Published 5/11/17)

* * *

A deep chill pierced the air when Murdoch awoke early Friday morning, seeping into his skin and serving as yet another reminder of how forbidding the North Atlantic could be.

The first officer had never liked the cold much. While the freezing winters of Scotland were tolerable, this briny Atlantic chill was something else entirely. Murdoch could feel it burrow into his bones like needles, brushing his skin as if glazed in ice.

His thick woolen greatcoat certainly came in handy during the early mornings and late nights, but it was never enough. And it didn't help that his nose tended to redden like a sodding tomato whenever the temperatures plummeted—an unfortunate trait both Lightoller and Wilde never hesitated to taunt him about, the gits.

But this was a transoceanic crossing, not some merry holiday in the south of France. Glacial seas, stiff joints and red, raw noses were all part of the job, as Murdoch knew too well…

* * *

A/N

It seems Murdoch's a bit injured (and grouchy because of Lowe and because he's internally struggling with job vs girl), but at least Esther's a former nurse. So she might be able to help him out c:

I wish I could reply thoroughly to reviews right now but I just want to say thank you so much to glitterstar7, LaueeeCarter, LightsLover7, MandiMojo49, LoveFiction2017, Laura Stahl, VampWolf92, and EndlessOcean9 for your lovely comments! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, see you all on the next one!


	14. Impulse

**(Major Spoilers)**

14

 **Impulse**  
April 12, 1912 | 14:40  
(Originally Published 5/11/17)

* * *

Esther fought to calm her nerves as she filed inside the captain's sitting room, flanked by Moody and her stone-faced superior officer.

Her resolve was in ruins, her scattered thoughts racing like mad.

Christ. She had assaulted a passenger.

It didn't matter if she had acted in defense of Murdoch; she had still disregarded the propriety required of her rank. She had injured someone within the span of a few reckless seconds, and might very well have risked her career in turn.

But the sight of Murdoch being throttled had been enough to suspend all rational and reasonable thought. In that moment, the only thing Esther cared about was protecting him, and she had been willing to do whatever necessary to spare him from harm...

* * *

 **(Major Spoilers)**

A/N

You guys, I'm dead. I died. I've been waiting for this moment for sooooo long, since the day I sat down and outlined this entire fic from start to finish. But they forgot that Murdoch's door is still cracked open, so who knows who might accidentally stumble upon them next chapter? ;)

Thank you so much to:

MandiMojo49 — Oh man I know he was such a jerk it was killing me, but he's moved past that finally!

LaueeeCarter — Hi there! Aha you totally hit it on the nose, they definitely had some quality bonding while Esther treated him, plus a little extra involved lol. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I'll be reading your fic soon too once my last final is over!

Twigs — Oh my gosh you're too kind! I agree, Esther and Will are definitely meant to be together! Thank you for reading and thank you so so much for your lovely review! Let me know your DeviantArt and I'll watch you! Thank you again c:

Newsie35 — I agree! She couldn't let him choke to death lol. Thank you so much!

LightsLover7 — I love Murdoch's grumpy side too. He might become less grumpy from here on out, but still sarcastic as always! Thank you for reading!

LoveFiction2017 — Thank you!

VampWolf92 — Haha thank you so much, I'm so glad you're enjoying it! Hope you liked this chapter as well!

BaconLover4 — She should have just said yes right then and there haha

glitterstar7 — Lol poor Murdoch tried so hard to fight his feelings and finally lost. I was bummed Lowe was a bit of a jerk last chapter, too, he was trying to make a joke but failed miserably haha. Thank you again for reading and for sticking with this fic!


	15. The Valet

15

 **The Valet**  
April 12, 1912 | 21:25  
(Originally Published 5/26/17)

* * *

Lightoller was exhausted as he stood in the blue darkness of the bridge, waiting for his watch to come to an end.

It was half-past nine, and nearly time for Murdoch and Bailey to relieve him. Despite the intolerable cold, he was pleased to note that everything had run smooth and steady this evening.

There had been nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing that might have set him or his crew on edge. The sea had kept remarkably calm, still as gleaming glass, and the captain had ordered Lightoller to maintain speed and heading before retiring to his quarters.

They'd received a single ice warning, most fortunately—a notice from the SS _La Touraine_ , which Mr. Bride delivered to the bridge around seven o'clock. Given how commonplace North Atlantic ice was this time of year, Smith found little cause for alarm. Lightoller, however, felt uneasy nonetheless. _Titanic_ was already speeding fairly fast in her journey west, and it certainly didn't help that the only binoculars were still missing, rendering proper sights of growlers and bergs almost impossible...

* * *

A/N

Hi again! Sorry for the delay! I'm a bit behind in my writing, but I hope to get back on track and continue posting regularly. This chapter's extremely long, and I probably should have split it up but I'm lazy sooo yeah haha. More angst and more characters to read about, anyway!


	16. Embrace

16

 **Embrace**  
April 13, 1912 | 21:15  
(Originally Published 6/1/17)

* * *

Esther wasn't entirely sure what she was doing as she followed Slate down the corridors of B Deck, crossing the long sprawl of carpet running endlessly beneath their feet.

Lockerbie's valet hadn't said a word since leading her away from the boat deck, and Esther could feel her uneasiness grow as she trailed after him.

She fidgeted with the edge of her leather glove and wondered if she was making a mistake. But she did want to help Lockerbie—and not only because her old nursing habits had driven her to offer immediate aid.

It was because underneath his stupid, pompous disposition, Lockerbie was her childhood friend...

* * *

A/N

Soooo how much you wanna bet Murdoch is NOT going to let him put the slightest bit of cash into his pocket during the sinking? Lol. Anyway, next chapter we start with our dynamic duo Lightoller and Wilde (since Wilde will be expecting to relieve Murdoch from duty but stumbles upon Lights instead), and it'll be April 14th — the last time Titanic will see daylight :(

Thank you so much to:

Newsie35 — Thank you! And unfortunately no smooth sailing, poor Murdoch and Esther have a bumpy road ahead of them :c But things may or may not happen between them next chapter, so you never know! ;)

glitterstar7 — Ahhhh I had a crush on [omitted] too when I was young! And then I rewatched Titanic recently and started noticing the officers weren't bad looking either, lol. Murdoch/Ewan especially of course aha. I'm happy you liked the cameo though and I hope you liked this chapter!

MandiMojo49 — Oh man, it's seriously rough going through those situations where you can't be with the other person due to boundaries :c I feel for you for going through that, it's never easy. And it was never going to be easy for poor Will and Esther. But you were totally right, seeing her injured definitely made Will open his eyes, so hopefully next chapter things will finally come around! c:

LostarielTuigalen — Thank you so much! And you guessed right about [omitted] and Esther :( But at least she managed to fight back against him before he could do any more harm!

LightsLover7 — I'm glad you liked how Lightoller was portrayed! I absolutely loved how he was in the [omitted], kind of proper and no-nonsense, though apparently the real Lightoller was nothing of the sort. Ah well haha!

HermioneandMarcus — Thank you so much, I appreciate it! Hope you enjoyed this chapter as well!

EndlessOcean9 — Oh my gosh I absolutely agree with you! I want them to be together too but it would never be easy and they can't rush right into it and ignore their values entirely :( And now Esther seems to have accepted Will's decision and realized the importance of her career. It's so frustrating lol. But anyway, thank you for reading! And I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

VampWolf92 — Hahah great to hear you loved the last chapter! Thank you so so much!

LaueeeCarter — Hi! Thank you! I totally agree with you about [omitted], I hate him so much, but in some ways I also love his character too. He's a product of the rich world he grew up in. And an idiot. Lol. I'm also glad you enjoy Esther as a character! She and Murdoch are just as stubborn and have so much in common. Here's hoping they finally get together ;) Anyway glad you liked this chapter! Thank you again!

BaconLover4 — Glad you liked it! And haha I agree, Esther kind of let her lust and emotions get the better of her there with Murdoch. But she pulled them back a bit and paid mind to her career instead of him, finally!

LoveFiction2017 — Thank you, glad you loved it! c: And hope you liked this chapter too!

CastleRockGirl — I just wanted to say that your review seriously made my day! You are very kind, thank you so so much for the feedback! And I'm glad you're enjoying everything so far, my main worry was getting the characterization of the officers right/realistic so thank you! No tea was thrown on [omitted], unfortunately, but I hope Esther kicking the crap out of him was just as good, lmao. And I'm really happy you love the art of Will & Esther as well, I just had to draw those two! c:


	17. Warning

17

 **Warning**  
April 14, 1912 | 02:00  
(Originally Published 6/7/17)

* * *

As he stood in the deep, frozen shadows of the early morning, Lightoller found himself longing for a damn good cup of coffee.

Although he had tossed down plenty of tea during the last few hours, Lightoller was now in need of something far stronger—something to keep him up and on his toes. Coffee seemed like it might do the trick, and so he'd sent Lowe off to brew a batch in the mess, hoping its rich, bitter taste might shock him back into wakefulness.

A quick glance at the wheelhouse informed him of the time.

 _Two o'clock_ , the tiny brass clock read.

One more hour until his watch would come to a close, and he could finally retire from this godforsaken cold.

He'd kept his position on the bridge for hours now, blinking wearily into the starlit darkness and stifling a myriad of yawns. It had been ages since he had worked a double watch; even with years of seafaring experience under his belt, it was no simple task. Lightoller was tired, cold, running on scraps of energy—and the harrowing realization that he'd be reporting back on the bridge in another _four_ hours certainly didn't help the situation any...

* * *

A/N

Hey everyone! Just a couple of quick comments — I fabricated the story of Murdoch being offered a position aboard the Olympic for conflict haha. And I included the ice warnings from the Rappahannock and the Noordam, the latter of which Smith never posted on the map in the chartroom for some reason. Apparently (and I didn't include this) there were two (!) other ice warnings before 2pm that day, one from the Baltic, which was handed to Ismay, and another from the the Amerika, which [omitted] Phillips never passed on to the bridge. So bizarre! Interesting stuff to read and learn about though.

I want to get back to finishing up the next chapter as soon as possible for you guys, and I apologize that I can't answer reviews thoroughly but I just want to say thank you to 1bluesapphire, MandiMojo49, glitterstar7, Newsie35, Names are for Friends, Sam Fraser, Laura, VampWolf92, EndlessOcean9, LightsLover7, LoveFiction2017, CastleRockGirl, Dreamgirl7009, htennis, and LaueeeCarter! Seriously you guys, thank you so much! It's honestly a joy reading your thoughts and hearing you guess what's coming next, or commenting on a character or some event that's happened. I love it! Always so fun to read. I'll see you all on the next chapter!


	18. Daylight

**(Major Spoilers)**

18

 **Daylight**  
April 14, 1912 | 14:05  
(Originally Published 6/10/17)

* * *

Esther was drawing back the lid of the wheelhouse binnacle when Murdoch made his way toward her.

She hesitated, feeling terribly nervous as she closed the window lid and stood at attention.

Whereas she once might have been pleased to see her superior officer, she was now withdrawn, and not entirely sure what to make of him.

Her head was swirling with thoughts of last night. How he'd cared for her, and kissed her forehead, and held her while she'd cried. It was a soft side she'd never seen from Murdoch before. Not from any man, for that matter.

But while she was deeply grateful for his help, Esther was now more confused than ever...

* * *

 **(Major Spoilers)**

A/N

Not going to lie, this was a bit fun to write. Lol. But unfortunately…the time has come. And the next chapter will be 'The Iceberg.' :( I'm so sad that we're getting closer to the end. It's going to be really hard to write. Chapters might take a little longer to finish, too, since I'll be thoroughly researching details of the sinking in order to stay fairly accurate. But everything's mostly outlined up until the final chapter :o

Thank you so much to:

Newsie35 — Haha same! Esther had some experience with concealer after her asshole fiance, poor girl. But she'll never have to go through that again! I hope you liked this chapter too, thank you!

Sam Fraser — Yeah it's such a shame, no going back now :( As for the bribe, I'll definitely be including it, it'll be similar to the [omitted] scene.

VampWolf92 — Awww that makes me happy to hear! c: Thank you so much, I'm glad you're enjoying the fic!

MandiMojo49 — Hahaha I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I know I'm damn jealous of Esther too, the lucky girl. Especially after writing this chapter :o

LightsLover7 — Same! I miss the way Lights and Wilde kept butting heads. Crazy and sad how it's the last day though, it's gonna be rough :c

htennis — Thank you a ton! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Hope you liked this one as well :)

glitterstar7 — Haha I love how Lights and Wilde are too, they bicker like a married couple almost. Just makes for good fun. And ahhhh I wish I could punch [omitted] in the face too. He's such an ass but still an interesting character. I hope you post that story of yours! One of my curiosities about the end of Titanic was what might have happened if [omitted] and [omitted] had seen each other after the sinking, or how [omitted]'s life might have played out leading up to his suicide. Definitely post it when you have the time to work on it! I would love to check it out!

EndlessOcean9 — Hi there! Hahah it is hilarious thinking about Murdoch fixing a pipe, I can almost imagine the irritable look on his face lmao. I'm glad you liked how Wilde and Lights are working together for Murdoch's sake! Still bickering of course but trying to help their friend lol. Also I managed to find that video you messaged me about on YouTube, so thank you again! It was really fascinating and broke down so many mechanics about Titanic/Olympic/etc I had no idea about!

LoveFiction2017 —Thank you! You were definitely right haha, this chapter was 100% steamy!

penelope lemon — Thank you so much! I totally agree with you about [omitted] being fascinating! I actually kind of sympathized with his character in the [omitted], since to me it always seemed like he wanted to show love and affection, but just didn't know how because of his upbringing and the wealth and entitlement that went with it. But I fneeded a villain and I love Billy Zane so he fit haha. Only now I've made him more monstrous :o Thank you again, I'm so happy you've enjoyed the story so far!


	19. The Iceberg

19

 **The Iceberg**  
April 14, 1912 | 20:15  
(Originally Published 6/15/17)

* * *

As Murdoch in the smoking room hours later, forced to endure a rather trying game of poker before the start of his nightly watch, he found himself fighting an internal battle to keep from staring at Bailey.

She was sitting on his left, transfixed on the spread of cards in her hand, her green eyes glinting with a challenge. Murdoch was amused; he had never seen this competitive edge to her before. Hell, he hadn't even known she could play poker until tonight.

But despite her obvious determination to win, Bailey was still good-natured, chatting and laughing with her opponents as they traded crude jokes and tongue-in-cheek remarks.

The atmosphere was lively, the table obscured beneath a clutter of cigarette butts, pound notes, shillings, teacups, and platters of crackers and fine cheeses. Smoke coiled from the heady cigar at the corner of Wilde's mouth, lending the room a dim gray haze. Pitman smirked at the hand he'd been dealt, while Lowe sipped from a bottle of ale at his side. And although Murdoch enjoyed the company of his fellow officers, he considered poker to be something of a bore. He was only here for Bailey, and had she not asked him to come along, he would have steered well clear from the smoking room...

* * *

A/N

Man, this was a crazy chapter. Went 0-100 real quick. I think we have two more chapters left, but if I go over that count I'll let you guys know. Ty for reading!

Thank you so much to:

Newsie35 — I want Esther and Will to live happily ever after too! I've grown so attached to them. We'll see! Hope you liked this chapter! c:

Saberius Prime — I'm happy you like their relationship c: I can't say anything yet but we'll just have to wait and see! Thank you so much for reading!

glitterstar7 — Glad you liked last chapter! And you guessed right haha, that was definitely [omitted] and [omitted]. I thought it would be funny since apparently passengers weren't allowed to go up to the bow lmao. Also just started reading your fic! Loving it so far, will definitely read more over the weekend!

LaueeeCarter — Oh my god hahaha thank you so much for catching that typo last chapter! I didn't even notice, but I changed it as soon as I saw your review pop up. Lmao that went right over my head. But thank you, hope you liked this chapter! And I totally agree with you, it's going to be so sad to see the ship sink. I'm almost dreading writing next chapter :c

Sam Fraser — I've been poring over that website since I started writing about the sinking! Tons of great info. And I will definitely be including Charles Stengel!

EndlessOcean9 — Aww thank you! About time they finally, fully opened up to each other. Lol, and Esther's still so stubborn and persistent, especially when it comes to her coffee. How does Murdoch even put up with her? :p Lmao. I'm happy you liked this chapter, hope you enjoyed this one as well! And the next couple after that of course. So sad we're nearing the end :c

MandiMojo49 — Hahaha I'm glad you liked it! Another steamy scene for this chapter too lol. I figure Esther and Will deserve it after pining for so long :p

LoveFiction2017 — I'm happy you liked last chapter! About time they were together. As for the ending, we'll see! Thank you for reading as always!

dragonrider1234 — Ahhhh you are seriously too kind! c: Not creepy at all trust me! It makes me so happy knowing that you were so engrossed with the story that you read it so quickly. Three days! Hell yeah haha. I'm also happy to hear that you like all of the characters, Esther, etc. I was in the exact same boat as you with Murdoch, I didn't know anything about him other than he was the officer who tried to steer around the berg and committed suicide. But writing this made me realize he was an interesting person in real life, same with his character in the film! Anyway now I'm rambling haha. Thank you so much again!

Guest — Loved that scene from the [omitted]! Hoped you liked this one in the fic!


	20. Promise

20

 **Promise**  
April 15, 1912 | 00:10  
(Originally Published 6/23/17)

* * *

Esther was in a state of shock, but it was nothing compared to the state of the Scotsman at her side.

Murdoch seemed to have settled since the initial collision; he was no longer visibly shaking, for one thing, and the cold sweat at his temples was gone. But there was still a distance about him, made all the more apparent by his stiff expression and impassive eyes.

His stride was brisk as they headed aft, locked in a tense silence with the sound of their footsteps echoing between them. Esther couldn't fathom what he was thinking. All she knew was that it wasn't his fault. None of them had seen the berg until the last minute. And by then, it was too late. Murdoch only had seconds to react, and he had responded to the best of his ability. Not a single sailor or captain could have done better...

* * *

A/N

Ahhh things are getting intense :c It's been really interesting researching the officer's actions during the sinking. Some of the real events I included this chapter were: Lowe's outburst at Ismay and the use of his own personal revolver, Henry Stengel falling into a boat and Murdoch remarking, "That is the funniest thing I've seen all night," Lightoller going above Wilde's head to speak to Smith about boarding, someone suggesting to put brides and grooms together on Lifeboat 7, and several other events/dialogue scattered here and there.

I'm scribbling and researching away for the next chapter to get it out to you guys, so I just want to quickly say thank you so much to MandiMojo49, Acme3, Newsie35, EndlessOcean9, VampWolf92, glitterstar7, dragonrider1234, and LoveFiction2017 for sharing your thoughts with me! And for sticking around this far! 100k+ words later, haha. Thank you!


	21. The Sinking

21

 **The Sinking**  
April 15, 1912 | 00:35  
(Originally Published 6/30/17)

* * *

Lightoller was stunned as he dressed himself. His breathing was shallow, and his hands fumbled as he pulled a dark turtleneck and a pair of trousers over his pajamas.

He couldn't believe that this was happening. That the unsinkable ship was sinking beneath their very feet.

When Boxhall had first knocked on his door and relayed the issue at hand, Lightoller had almost let out a scoff. But he'd seen the urgency in his colleague's eyes, and so he'd slipped back into his cabin at once, swallowing down his own dread and numbing disbelief.

He knew this would not be easy.

He knew how few lifeboats there were relative to the number of people on board. He knew that many would perish in the frigid water, and that he might die as well...

* * *

A/N

Ahhh I hate leaving you guys with this cliffhanger, but I had no choice :o We'll soon find out what happens to them though! I'm working on the next chapter, which should be the last. Thank you everyone as always for reading!

Thank you so much to:

VampWolf92 — Haha glad to hear the story is so addicting! I hope you liked this chapter as well!

1bluesapphire — I didn't know that about Lightoller's line! Honestly it was one of the best in the [omitted], I love that it wasn't even scripted! There was just something about the way he said it, really raw and powerful almost. Also thank you so much!

dragonrider1234 — Thank you so much! c: I'm happy to hear you liked last chapter, everything from the fat man (lmao) to Esther and Murdoch being cute together! I don't want this story to end either to be honest ahhhh I will miss it so much. But thank you again for reading, I appreciate it!

MandiMojo49 — Thank you! Oh man I hate writer's block too, always such a pain. Listening to music always helps for me, along with rewatching Titanic lol. Good luck to you though! Hope you get back to writing soon, and when I'm finished with this fic I hope to check it out!

glitterstar7 — Thank you so much! Poor Lowe :o But I totally agree, I wish they would have kept that scene in the film! Same with so many others that were cut, like the scene when Bride and Phillips got an ice warning from the [omitted]ifornian. Ah well haha. Anyway thank you again! I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well!

LoveFiction2017 — We'll have to see! I know I want him to live, he and Esther are wonderful together!

EndlessOcean9 — Thank you so much! c: I had no idea about the fat man either until I was researching the sinking haha. As for what will happen to Esther and Murdoch, we'll just have to wait and see! Thank you again for reading, hope you liked this chapter as well!

twigs — Aww c: Thank you so so much! You have no idea how happy it makes me that you're enjoying the story. As for a Beta reader, I do the editing myself but I have experience as a techni[omitted] writer so it goes fairly quick! Thank you so much again though, I'm glad you enjoy Murdoch and Esther's relationship and everything else in between!

htennis — Hahaha I'm glad you liked that line! Murdoch can still have a sense of dry humor even in the worst of times. Thank you so much!


	22. Seawater

**( Major Spoilers)**

22

 **Seawater**  
April 15, 1912 | 02:15  
(Originally Published 7/4/17)

* * *

The wrench of violent seawater dragging Charles Herbert Lightoller beneath the surface was just as sudden as it was terrifying—and it was in that moment that he finally allowed himself to panic.

His fingers scrambled madly, desperate to reach air, but something kept him pinned beneath the tides of foam and freezing water.

 _A grate_ , he realized. _Of all the sodding things._

In his haste to swim away from the foundering vessel, Lightoller had somehow ended up trapped against a ventilation shaft above the officers' quarters. It sucked greedily at the back of his turtleneck, holding him beneath the surface, seeking to bring him down with the ship...

* * *

A/N

This was horrible to write, I never want to write something emotionally draining like this ever again. I hope you all brought your tissues :c See you on the next chapter, Aftermath, which will have some more officer perspectives and a small epilogue-like scene. I also want to say that I already know I won't be able to please everyone with the end of this chapter, but this is how I wanted to write it and how I envisioned it from the start. I'll go into more spoiler-y detail for my reasons in my final author's note in the next chapter. But in the meantime, thank you everyone for reading this far c:

Thank you to:

VampWolf92 — Aww thank you so much! I'm glad you liked last chapter and I know this one was pretty brutal but I hope it was a good read as well!

MandiMojo49 — Right?! Getting dramatic and crazy. I didn't want to have Will use his authority over Esther but the poor guy had no choice. Thank you once again for reading!

Lady's Secret — Thank you so much! I'm glad to hear you're enjoying the story so far!

glitterstar7 — Awww no! Well I guess I'm doing my job well if I had you in tears haha! I loved that scene when Murdoch threw that money at [omitted] too, oh my god, the look on his face was priceless. Money was all he knew and Murdoch was just like NOPE lmao. And as for your story, no problem! I've been enjoying it so far! Now that this fic is out of the way I'll have more time to sit down and read it. Thank you so much again!

htenns — No problem, hope you enjoyed this chapter! And ahhh sorry about that cliffhanger haha I hate them too trust me.

Velz — Thank you so much! And I know this chapter might not been what you had hoped, but next chapter there might be a tiny bit of a happy ending :o

EndlessOcean9 — Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked the portrayal of Esther and Murdoch during the sinking, they really tried their hardest. Even though they still weren't able to make it out in the end :c I'm glad you've enjoyed this story so far though! And I know this chapter was a sad one, but I just want to say thank you as always for reading! c: One more chapter to go!

LoveFiction2017 — :c Aww, well, I only prolonged his death unfortunately. I miss him and Esther already :c

dragonrider1234 — Ahhhh thank you so much! c: When I read that side note you added in your review, I knew you would like this chapter (well not what's happening in this chapter since everyone is dying and it's awful and sad, but because it included different pov's)! I was planning on switching up the perspectives from the beginning but I didn't add Andrews until you mentioned him in your review! His might be a little random and out of place compared to the others but I really couldn't resist writing it. As for the shooting scene, you were spot on, I'd written Esther stopping him from committing suicide early on but scrapped it because it felt weird for some reason. I could see him snapping under the stress and guilt and all but it felt odd after he'd just said I love you. If she had been in a lifeboat I definitely would have written him killing or trying to kill himself, but since she was onboard I had him feel like he had to live only to make sure she survived. But anyway I'm rambling lol, thank you so so much for your lovely review as always and I'm glad you've enjoyed the story so far!

LaueeeCarter — Hi there! Thank you a ton! I'm glad you liked the descriptions and dialogue from last chapter! It makes me happy to know it was enough to make it feel real/visual as if you were in the moment! As for this chapter, I wanted them to make it out too :c Thank you as always for reading though and for sticking with this fic this far, I appreciate it, and can't wait for you to update A Sailor's Love too! I want to know what happens next!

Newsie35 — Thank you so much! c: And I agree, the sinking of Titanic was simply awful, I can't imagine what those poor people must have gone through. And I suppose this chapter answered your question about who survived :c I wanted them to all to live, Murdoch and Esther and Wilde and everyone, but unfortunately it wasn't meant to be.

penelope lemon — Awww thank you! Well haha at least there's one more chapter left after this, and then it's unfortunately the end. I'm glad to hear that you thought the plot and events flowed (lmao!) well earlier when everything started to get hectic. And that you're fond of Booker too! You'll find out what happened to him next chapter :o As for the plot twist it was a bit random I know. I wanted to avoid any suicide-stuff but still wanted to keep in the shooting of passengers to show how crazy it was getting/control was slipping, and to let her finally break down a bit to have Will bolster her back up. I could have had Will shoot her I suppose but I'm so biased and didn't want to pile on his guilt, the poor guy. And I'm happy you like all my art-y stuff on tumblr c: c: I followed you back a few weeks ago as well! Thank you so much, it really means a lot!


	23. Aftermath

**( Major Spoilers)**

23

 **Aftermath**  
April 15, 1912 | 02:30  
(Originally Published 7/4/17)

* * *

From the moment the screaming started, Harold Godfrey Lowe knew that they needed to go back.

The sound was like a roar, an endless cry that trembled and shook the heavens above. There had to be over a thousand people stranded in those frigid waters, frothing the sea in their struggle to swim. Lowe could hear them crying, pleading, begging for mercy. And somewhere, in the distance, the shrill shrieks of whistles split the air—a reminder that his fellow officers were still out there, fighting for their lives.

He had to go back. There was no doubt in his mind.

Clenching his electric torch tightly in one fist, Lowe shone its light across the passengers adrift in the nearby lifeboats, illuminating their pale skin and fearful eyes. He moved quickly, rounding up the boats in a floating huddle, his boiling blood cutting right through the Atlantic chill...

* * *

 **( Major Spoilers)**

A/N

And that concludes On the Edge of Daylight! Thank you so much to everyone who has ever reviewed, favorited, followed, or read along to this story, I truly appreciate it! c: Feel free check out the site (edgeofdaylight **-dot-** net) for fan art, historical details, and editions of the book in paperback, hardcover, and for Kindle. Thanks once again!

— _whereisnovember_


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